I've recently started getting a chance to attend more weddings (I'm officially having that year where everyone is getting married) and there's nothing like a dramatic declaration of love, dramatic lighting and dramatic fashion to bring out, well, the drama in people. And I'm not just talking about bridezilla's and mother-in-law's on the rampage. Oh no, I've been front row center when a groomsmen punched out a member of another wedding on the premises, and the groom spent the entire night talking to the cops. And older guests pinching young, attractive serving staff (men and women alike), and of course who can forget the loud, tipsy bridesmaid who announced her liaison with a certain married fellow guest of the wedding (yes, I have actually seen all this go down). Hell, I may or may not have started flirting with one of my brother-in-laws friends at my sister's wedding... don't judge me, it happens!
It's funny to think of this happening at other people's weddings, but it might not seem so cute when it's yours. So, how do you lower the drama factor at the wedding? Well, here are a few tips.
Don't make a "problem table"
If your idea is to take all the odd fit, drama ridden college roommates and alcoholic cousins and lump them together to keep their drunken antics from affecting the rest of the wedding, you've essentially created an epicenter of disaster waiting to happen. You've increased the odds that they'll have someone to bounce off of, as opposed to diffusing their powers by spreading them out. Find milder counterparts to keep them at bay. And is completely acceptable to make sure someone you're really worried about is being monitored, by a mutual friend.
Find time to have a "talk" with potential disasters
I find the guilt trip is best for this. "Thank you so much for being here Aunt Joan. I'm so honored you can be here. The last wedding I was at people were being so inappropriate and, her aunt actually hit on the bartender! I'm so glad we have such a wonderful family where no one would embarrass me like that on my wedding day. I love you too Auntie Joan" See, potential cougar sighting taken care of in 30 seconds or less!
If you have potential bridal party hook-ups, party separately.
A big group for drinks the night before the rehearsal dinner is always interesting. People meeting for the first time, they already have a lot in common (they know the two of you) and you're encouraging them to celebrate. Predatory groomsmen, or recently single maid who might be in the prime spot for rebounding... now is not the time, and you don't need weird dynamics surrounding you at the altar. So, let's the boys have their time, and the girls theirs. And if they do get crazy on their own, they've got the day before to collect themselves and be back in the game before the rehearsal dinner...and you won't have to worry about any awkward silences between the sides of the wedding party.
If it happens, laugh
Things go wrong, people do stupid things, and these will probably be some of your best memories. While it may not feel awesome at the time, there's no reason for anyone's antics ruining you having an amazing time. And trust me, they have not ruined the wedding. You can't control the behavior of every single one of your guests, and you don't want to make yourself nuts trying to either. My dad got so angry about our young cousin's at my sister's wedding that I don't think he enjoyed a single moment of the wedding, and that's a shame! So, the best advice I can give you and everyone at the wedding is, just sit back and enjoy... then come find me, we'll dish!