I often tell a joke when I'm with brides and they're having problems because they love so many dresses. It's because we work so hard to bring in the best options from the best designers, but I'll often tell them, "We try really hard not to buy the ugly ones"
Truth is, it's easy to forget how bad wedding dresses can be when you're surrounded with the creme de la creme all the time. But a simple turn into a bridal magazine, or the wrong google search, and you're barraged with images of sheer horror. ...and what could be more fun than sharing that with you.
So, ladies and gentlemen, may I please present (drum roll please) 6 awful wedding dresses I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and 6 fabulous options I'd gladly give to my best friend.
1. Good-bye Kitty, Hello Vera
As much as Hello Kitty might be cute, to an 8 year old, I cannot get behind this sickly sweet pepto-pink dress with pick-ups and Hello Kitty embroidery I can however totally get into this messy layered sand/blush colored Vera Wang, which is every bit as detailed and full, but with grown up taste, much to your pre-school niece's chagrin.
2. Blue Eww
I love blue as a wedding inspiration, (see my blog post about my obsession with blue) but WTF?! Layers of crunchy looking ice blue organza, crazy corset, and a big ole boob bow...not okay. Okay, so this one isn't from us, but can easily be replicated with a full tulle skirt (Almond from Modern Trousseau perhaps?) and a pale periwinkle cardigan. Great for cooler evenings as a sweet little cover-up, and tastefully restrained. Major points for looking less like a Christina Aguilera costume.
3. St Puke-y
We all have different taste levels, but I can't imagine anyone getting into St Pucchi. Over worked, over beaded, over done, over the top...so over it. This mermaid has a weird ruffle/beading detail over the stomach that would make anyone look "pooch-y" and a big mess of flowers at the knee that I don't get.
Enter Monique Lhuillier, with the streamlined version. A delicate pick-up placed low at the skirt break gives the same shape without the over blown quality. And the texture is reminiscent of the beading on the unholy Saint dress, while keeping it classy.
4. The French-Japanese War
In a head to head battle in couturier clothiers, Junko Yoshioka takes the wedding cake over the French avant garde, Jean Paul Gautier any day of the week. Gautier's feathers and corseting might be eye catching for walking down the runway, but less fitted for walking down the aisle. Junko's similar construction and opt for organza flounce over feathers in Verde strike the perfect balance of fun, flirty, and elegant.
5. Bocci vs. Bliss
I think Bocci's dress is the "bacci di morte" (kiss of death) of wedding dresses. Frosty pink, unruly pick-ups, and ginormous bedazzled, sequin-looking things on a trashy over-exposed top. But Bliss by Monique Lhuillier does it right. The beading is softer and mixed with silver and white that gently fades into feather-light tulle covered pick-ups that don't look like they're about to attack the guests.
6. Gautier Strikes Again
I was only going to showcase 5 of these bridal disasters, but when I came across the image of this "beauty" I just couldn't resist. Sheer pleated wads of toilet-paper looking organza. And because the look wasn't ridiculous enough already...a matching headdress. I can see the gross running away screaming right now.
But take the fun of the tulle layers, the asymmetrical shape, and the fulness, and there's Wallis from Modern Trousseau to save the day. Balances with a clean sweetheart top, dropped waist to give you a hint of sexy shape without putting the goods on display, this is what being a bride is all about.
Now, I'm the last one to rain on anybody's parade, and I like some wacky stuff that might be a bit out of the box for some brides, but my main problem with the dresses I poked fun at, was that they don't showcase the bride, it's your day, not the dresses! We want to find chic, sophisticated options that run from fun and flirty to serious and sultry, and classically beautiful, while keeping a smart, modern sensibility to it. So, you won't be finding anything from my bad list at Anna Be, but ever the worst dresses can give us inspiration for the best options for your gown.